Young Mothers

Tonight Drew and I attended the adult session of stake conference while Veronica babysat the girls. It was so great to attend and I am very grateful for a good dinner, a great meeting, and a wonderful time with Drew.

It seems like I keep hearing a lot of counsel for young mothers... maybe this is because I am a young mother and my radar just picks it up, but to me it is very reassuring that there are lots of young mothers out there who struggle with very similar things that I do, and that we all need a little encouragement from time to time. The first speaker of the evening was herself a young mother and spoke about some of the counsel that has been given to all of us. This was a great blessing for me to hear her words and take comfort in the efforts that I am making at a job that sometimes seems overwhelming.

So many things that she and others spoke about tonight have great meaning and application in my life and I think, for my personal benefit that I will record some of them here so I don't forget them.

Happiness cannot be bought. I think everyone realizes this; I do, and yet when the speaker started describing attitudes along those lines I found that my own thoughts sometimes drift into that mindset. Once I paint the girls room I will be so happy; Once I get them a new rug and coordinated bedding I won't want anything more; Once we finish our fence I will be so happy; Once we finish landscaping we can invite more people over; Once we make a little more money we won't have to worry so much.... on and on and on it can go. It was kind of scary realizing that I sometimes fall victim to that thinking and that it literally can go on forever; not that I'm not happy or my happiness is totally dependent on outside factors, but I do sometimes think I'll be happier once those things happen. But, happiness is a choice that I can make right now! I don't have to wait for my fence or the landscaping to be happy, I should be happy in the mean time... and all the time for that matter! I don't know if anyone else is as weak as mean and falls into this little trap of Satan's , but I feel greatly blessed to have heard that counsel tonight and to make the changes necessary to enjoy life in the present, not just in the future.

Joy is experienced in moments. This is of course another truth that I already know, but seem to sometimes forget. There must be an opposition in all things, otherwise joy wouldn't even be distinguishable from sorrow. For me, moments of joy are especially sweet when they are experienced after much struggle and sorrow. Parenting or life in general is not going to be all joyful. Yes, "men are that they might have joy," but life happens along the way, and it is good to be reminded that it's okay if every single parenting moment is not joyful, but that the joyful ones will make up for it. Elder Ballard was quoted: "recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction."

Much was also said about families in general and the importance of the family unit. I really liked the quote, "It's better to be apart and wish you were together than to be together and wish you were apart."

I also really enjoyed the emphasis on some of Elder Ballard's talk from General Conference just one week ago about young mothers. My favorite part was his analogy of a well. He said, "Water cannot be drawn from an empty well, and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even to your children." I have found this to be so true in my life- having a little break for myself (usually during naptime) really helps me be a better mom, and defining myself as an individual person (shock!) and not just "Abbie's Mom" helps me focus on my personal needs and goals.

Oh, there were so many great things said, but the point is that I feel very blessed to have attended this great, uplifting meeting, and very blessed to know how to apply the counsel given to hopefully make me a better person.

A Trip to the Park

The nice weather has arrived, and that in and of itself is a blessing to me- I'm so excited to to be outside more in general and to not be cold all the time when I am. Today, though I am grateful for a great trip to a park and for meeting some new friends. After nap time I was getting the girls ready to go play outside when Drew called to check in. He suggested that I take the girls to one of our community parks on the lake to play, and we went for it. It was so fun- it's only a two minute drive there and the girls loved being by the water and playing on different play equipment, and they especially loved when two other moms and their kids joined us. It was great for me to meet some more young moms in the area- just a street or two away- and Abigail really loved making a new friend, Adision (Addie). We were there for almost two hours and when we headed home Abbie gave her new friend and her mom a hug goodbye and told them she loved them. It was so sweet- little kids are so innocent and kind, and loving towards everyone. I am grateful for taking a little extra effort into our outside time today and for a great visit to the park.

Love Languages

Tonight I attended an enrichment activity where we had a book review on "The Five Love Languages." I have heard of this book before, but have never read it, and it was very interesting to hear the concepts presented about how we feel and express love in different ways. This was so fascinating to me and it is applicable to any relationship where love is present- the love of a spouse or for a child, for a sibling or family member, for friends or neighbors; we are taught to love one another, and knowing how others receive love differently will help us do that better. I thought it was a very beneficial presentation and I'm going to try harder to show my love for others in ways that are meaningful to them. I feel blessed to have attended and I really think that having this new perspective will bless my life and help me bless the lives of others.

A Little Mommy

I often refer to Abigail as my 'little mommy' because she likes to be the mom to Lauren and her friends sometimes, as I think lots of older siblings do. But, today I realized what a little blessing that can be- and how in tune she is with her sister's needs. At breakfast, Lauren was rather fussy and did not want another bite of oatmeal from me after repeated attempts. So, I told her she could have some when she was ready and continued eating mine. Then, I heard Abbie's sweet little voice, "She wants milk, Mom" and saw her kindly hold Laurie Lou's milk bottle for her while Lauren drank. She was right! All that Lauren wanted was milk, and once she had a drink she ate her oatmeal no problem. I was amazed and humbled and very impressed with my 'little mommy' who was looking out for baby sister.

A Week Lost

I have missed over a week of recording my daily blessings. It is interesting how the human brain- or at least mine- works. I usually think of the blessing that I specifically want to focus on each day and can go a few days before getting them all written, but once I stretch it to a few days beyond that everything just gets kind of fuzzy, and I'm left lacking. I have had this happen in many aspects of life- and I think it serves to prove how procrastination and relying on memory alone are insufficient compared to actually doing what we need to do everyday.

It's the same for our physical bodies and our intellect and our spirituality. We need constant nourishment, constant learning, constant growth. If we subside for even a day that becomes two, or a week or a month and so on and so on, it becomes increasingly more difficult to regain position where we were once before and then harder still to improve from there. This seems to be reminded to me on every angle- with working out and reading my scriptures and eating healthy and working on my book, but still I seem to struggle with it.

To me, it's fascinating that Heavenly Father created us this way- He could have let our physical, mental, and spiritual capacities be constant and only need inconsistent maintenance and nourishment, but we are ever changing. Changing for the better or changing for the worse; life is not stagnant, and so, I guess, we must always be changing and choosing for ourselves- on a daily, sometimes moment by moment basis.

I guess today I just want to write a little something- because doing even the littlest of something is far better than going another day without anything at all- and because I feel blessed for the blessing of this past week and blessed still that I am reminded to work harder in all areas of my life on a daily basis. I hope that this week lost will serve to prevent me from losing any others, and will only make me more diligent in all areas of my life.