Joyful Daughters

Today I am extra grateful for my sweet girls. I've been thinking about the scripture in 2 Nephi: "Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy." Scriptures definitely have different meanings and applications to me at different times in my life, but today that has just really hit home about how one of our main purposes of this mortal existence is to have joy. That's why Adam fell...not to meet our selfish desires, not so we could fill our lives with busy activities, not so we could wallow in sorrow, but to have joy. And for me, true joy comes from a few places--two of which are only knee high.

This evening I was playing with Abigail and Lauren and they were just being so fun. I love when they laugh so hard that it seems their happiness is radiating from them. I know that one of the reasons of having children is to have joy in our posterity, but sometimes that is hard to remember between the tantrums and the time outs and the diaper changes. So it was an extra blessing for me today to be very consciously aware of the joy that my girls bring to my life. I love them.

I feel the Lord's kindness in my life today as I cling to the sweet moments of true joy that I have with my girls. They are such a joy to me, and I am so blessed to have them in my life, especially as my daughters.

A Day for Love

On this Valentine's Day I am grateful for love. Not just for romantic love, but for love that is shared by all...love for a child, love for a friend, love for our God, love for a stranger. Sometimes I think the world tries to focus on only one kind of love and one way to show it. Love should be something that we extend towards all.

Today I am thinking a lot about charity or the pure love of Christ. Charity has such a common connotation that I think we sometimes overlook what it really means to express this kind of love. It is more than simple service.

"And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail--But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him." (Moroni 7:45-47)

I am humbled this day as I remember what love-a pure love-should be. It is not easily provoked, it suffereth long, it rejoices only in truth, it endureth all things. I need to show more of this kind of love towards my family, towards my friends, towards my enemies. I am blessed to have so much love in my life- to know I am loved by God, to have the love of my family and friends, to love them in return. May they help provoke a stronger desire in all of us to love a little deeper.

A Wise Servant

I am so grateful for a husband who is so willing to serve the Lord. Drew has definitely been carrying the church calling load for our family recently, and I know that our whole family is blessed for the service he extends. What I am most grateful for, though, is his efficiency in serving-- not that he is unwilling to give more time-- but that the time he reserves for the Lord is not wasted.

He has been following the counsel given him by our Stake President, to reserve only one night a week for his calling, and to have all of his meetings, visits, interviews, etc. planned into one time away from family, and leave the other nights for other family activities. Other than his Sunday meetings and separate service projects, Wednesday evening is the only time he fulfills the majority of his call outside the home. I guess I just feel very blessed that he serves so wisely, and for the receives blessings for himself and our family as a whole as a result.

This Wednesday evening I see the kindness of the Lord in the opportunities given to serve, and the blessings that can follow when we but magnify that call.

A Close Family

Today I remember again how thankful I am to be close to family. While we are twice as close to Drew's family as we used to be, which makes trips so much more doable there, we are only fifteen minutes from my parents house and it truly is such a blessing. I am grateful to attend events, do activities together, and learn things from each member of my family that would not be feasible unless we were in such close proximity to each other.

Today I finished filing our taxes, and I feel very blessed to not only get it done, but to learn much more about the process so I can do it mostly on my own next year. My dad, (a CPA,) has always done our taxes for us, but I really have been wanting to learn the basics to be more self sufficient, and I'm grateful for the opportunity and time that we had together today to accomplish that. It is just another small manifestation of the Lord's kindness in blessing us to be so close to my family.

A Year in Review

Today, the girls and I went to one of our weekly library classes and I was very reminiscent of a similar scene one year ago. Today, the librarian read Valentine stories to the children, just as she did one year ago when Abigail and I attended our first library class here in Shelton. It made me just reflect over what a year this has been and how much we've been blessed in such a short time. This time last year was one of the most stressful times of my life- Abbie and I had moved up to Shelton while Drew was finishing up work in Klamath Falls before taking a new job here; we were living with my parents while our house wasn't selling in Oregon; Lauren's diagnosis was worse than we expected and we were really nervous about what to expect; my grandpa's health had taken a turn for the worse; and I was just big and pregnant and miserable.

I was looking back over my journal from that time, and it is interesting to see the changes that occur as we let the Lord help shape our futures here. These are a few excerpts that show some of my struggles and transitions:

Jan. 29th
"....I love the scripture in Isaiah 55, where it says the Lord's ways are higher than our ways, but I love it most when I look back on events in my life and have seen how my meager plans were not right for me at all and the Lord's way was. Somehow, though, when I'm in the thick of a trial and can't see the end when it will all have worked itself out, it is much harder to appreciate that the Lord's ways are higher and not just be for what I think is best. I just pray that I have the faith and endurance to persevere to the point where I will be able to look back and see how blessed I was...."

Feb. 8th
"....I think I've reached my limit- I actually thought I already had, but apparently that was not the case. I'm really trying to stay strong and positive, but honestly sometimes it seems like I just need to have a breakdown to signify that this is all I can handle...."

Feb. 17th
".....The term walk by faith has been gaining a lot of meaning to me and I really feel like we've been taking those few steps into the dark- knowing there's light ahead, but not knowing when or how we'll get to it- just that we will and that we won't be alone along the way...."

Today, reflecting on a time only one year ago, I feel so blessed to be blessed so much. The Lord's ways are higher than our ways. We did make it through- our house sold and closed on time, we were able to move into a new, nicer house right after, Drew's job transition went great, living with my parents for a short time was such a blessing- my whole family was such a great help with Abbie and little Lauren, and finally- Lauren. Sweet Lauren, whom I can't imagine our lives without. "What a big miracle for such a little girl;" and she truly is such a big miracle and a blessing in our lives.

I guess today I was just nudged to remember how blessed we've been this last year. Not that it was all easy along the way, in fact- it is due to the fact that it was not that I'm so moved to remember the trials and triumphs of this past year. I am blessed to be at the point that I mentioned in a journal entry where I truly can look back and see how blessed I was during that rough time of my life, and acknowledge that I wasn't alone during any of it.

One of my purposes of this blog is to remember. To remember on a day to day basis where my blessings come from. To remember over lengths of time how my faith has prevailed. To remember that life is hard, but it is always, always worth it.

A Loving Little Family

I feel so blessed today to have such a loving little family to take care of me when I'm feeling sick. All of a sudden today I felt really disoriented and had to stay home from church just as we were about to leave because I didn't think I could drive (let alone walk) safely. Drew, despite his many responsibilities at church, came home to my rescue. That in and of itself was such a blessing to me; but it was also so sweet while I was waiting for him and laying down on the couch, Abbie gave the sweetest words of encouragement:

Abbie: "Mommy, you sick?"
Mommy: "Yes, I'm sick, Honey."
Abbie: "It's okay Mommy. You go take a nap in bed and say your prayers. I'll sing you a song." Upon which she folded her arms and sang me her rendition of a 'Get Better Mommy' song.

I am so blessed for those sweet words and that sweet girl. And her sweet Daddy who came home and put me right to bed and let me nap for hours while he played with the girls. And for sweet Lauren, because she is just so sweet. And for the fact that I felt much better when I woke up. I love my little family.