A Lonely Broadcast

Today Drew and I attended a session of the Worldwide Leadership Training Broadcast. What an experience. We arrived at the empty church building with no one there and our first thought was that it had been canceled. The door, however, was unlocked and the broadcast was set up and running, but with no one else was there to watch. It was an odd feeling, being the only ones in the chapel, but it really made the teaching so applicable to me. It felt as if each speaker, though addressing all adults in the church as a whole, was speaking directly to me and Drew....because in our setting they literally were. We were the only ones there, and as such we were able to give our undivided attention and also comment to each other about how different things would fit to our circumstances.

The broadcast really provided a lot of the answers that I've been searching for. Drew and I attended the temple yesterday with concerns in our hearts and today feel like we have the guidance we've been waiting for. Aren't the ways of the Lord fascinating? Yesterday I was expecting to go to the temple faithfully and pray earnestly and receive my answer there, but the Lord chose for me to put forth a little more effort...a little more faith, a little more prayer, and receive my answer in His way, not my own; on His timetable, and not my own. Even the answer is His, and not what I would have chosen for myself.

I feel very blessed to have been nudged by the spirit (via my sister) to attend the broadcast today and amgrateful for the answers, guidance, and counsel that I received there.

A Temple Trip

Today I feel very blessed to have attended the temple. Getting to the temple seems to get harder and harder as our lives fill with other things, and I don't think that it is by accident. I think the blessings of the temple are so great that the adversary works very hard to keep us from going. It definitely felt like that today...it seemed like one thing after another kept going awry and maybe we should once again postpone our trip, but I just decided that that was it and we were going to go no matter what- if Satan is working so hard to keep me from going then I'm just going to have to work even harder to make sure and get there. And we did. We left with one bathroom off limits due to a flooded toilet that would just have to wait, no dinner prepared for ourselves on the trip, our girls with their aunt who had to change her plans to come, and we had to set off in the heat of rush hour traffic. But we made it.

Earlier in the day I read a promise from Elder Vaughn J. Featherstone on the back of the Seattle temple schedule: "I promise you that all who faithfully attend to temple work will be blessed beyond measure ~ Your families will draw closer to the Lord, unseen angels will watch over your loved ones when Satanic Forces tempt them, the veil will be thin and great spiritual experiences will distill upon this people." There are so many great blessings from temple work- many of which I probably don't even realize, but I am so grateful this day for the opportunity to serve there and to be blessed myself.

A Day of Visits

Today I felt the Lord's kindness in my life through the visits of others. During this winter season when bad weather sets in, it's easy to start feeling a little isolated , so it was great that several friends and visitors came by today. Though each person came by for a separate reason, I feel that the Lord's underlying reason is that He knew the girls and I could use some company today. It was great for Abigail to spend some more time with her friends, for me to have some grown-up talk time, and just to know that others were thinking of us. I really believe that each of us can be instruments in the Lord's hands, and today I am grateful for the role others played in making this a better day for me.

A Little Less Fear & A Little More Faith

For quite some time now I have been trying to exemplify the virtue of living by faith and not by fear. It is a theme that is incorporated into my personal mission statement, but yet still seem to struggle with daily. I think there's good reason for it to be hard- fear is harbored by the devil and there is so much evil in the world today that it's easy to succumb to negative thoughts- and once way is given for even a small fear, he is quick to capitalize on it and keep it going. Sometimes I feel that it is hard to rely on faith alone, but that is probably just because I need more of it.

Tonight a winter storm moved in rather quickly as Drew left for his weekly meetings at church. In my weakness, I let my imagination run wild of the horrible accidents he could have and the tragedy that would befall my life and on and on. After a few minutes in a panic, I realized how foolish this really was and how easily I sometimes fall into Satan's traps. I said a quick prayer of faith and asked for forgiveness and almost instantly my mind was at peace. I knew that everything would be okay--not necessarily that everything would always be fine and no tragedy would ever cross my path, but that everything would be okay because the Lord has a plan for me and, even in hardships if I just submit my will to His, then I will be okay.

That was an interesting thought that came to my mind, and I think sometimes my faith is misconstrued to the hopeful, 'everything will turn out just the way I want it', when really true faith is acknowledging that I trust Heavenly Father so much that I will always rely on Him, even if things don't turn out the way I had planned. I remember learning that the best gift we can lay upon the altar of the Lord is our will...giving our will to become His. I feel very blessed this day to be reminded of how powerful our faith can really be, and how it's not that hard to have a little less fear and a little more faith.

A Battle for Bottle

Due to a variety of factors, Drew and I have been working over the last two weeks to help transition Lauren from breast to bottle. Today I feel very blessed to witness the progress she has made. For Lauren, just the fact that she is able to nurse is a huge blessing. Not breastfeeding her was a heartache that I had already allowed myself time to grieve for and recover from before she was born, so expecting only to pump and use specially made bottles, it was such a miracle to nurse her from day one. It is such a blessing to me now, though, that she can gradually make the transition to only bottles.

Only a few short days ago Lauren was refusing bottles as Drew and I were tirelessly trying and trying to feed her one. After a humbling moment and acceptance that it would definitely be easier to not try to do this all on our own, I said a quick prayer of desperation to help us know what to do. After hours of attempts, the answer was simple- take a break- and try again. A break was needed...for all of us. And afterwards, Lauren drank a little from her bottle, and she has continued drinking a little more from her bottle and a little less from mom day by day.

Today, I see the Lord's kindness in our consistent efforts paying off. After her morning nap, Lauren drank 11 ounces from her bottle...she will now take a bottle from me, she will eat enough for a meal and not just a snack, and I haven't nursed her since 7:00 am yesterday. I am so grateful that my little girl can be healthy and happy and I can too.

A Prayer for Me

Have you ever had someone else pray for you? I think it is one of the best feelings in the world--to know that someone else is pleading with the Father on my behalf, adding to my own prayers, and strengthening my desire to seek for an answer. For weeks I've been struggling and questioning about what career roles are right for me at this time in my life, and the more I research and pray and debate the issue, the more confused I become. Yesterday, Drew mentioned that he had fasted to help me with this and I realized what a blessing that is. While I still don't have my answer, I am strengthened to be more patient in finding that answer because I know that he is also praying for me.

I know that as husband and wife we should constantly be praying for the other, but for some reason today this really just struck me as a way that the Lord shows His kindness...through others. Through simple prayers that are humbly asked on behalf of someone else--it blesses both those praying and those being prayed for.

Recently one of my close friends sent an email asking if we could pray for her on behalf of a certain situation...what an amazing example! I think she showed outstanding faith to acknowledge the power of prayer and the reality that praying for others blesses all. I hope to keep others in my prayers more often and I am grateful for both the prayers that I do and don't know about that have been offered for me.

A Little Perspective

Today the Lord's kindness to me was manifest in the testimony of another's heartache. We all have our own trials, and while I doubt that anyone enjoys them in the moment, I know that they do serve a purpose in our lives. I guess I am very humbled, and realize how small my seemingly large trials actually are by the witness that was borne of another's. I hesitate to share the specifics, but suffice it to say that I don't know if I have what it takes to overcome some of the challenges and burdens that are given to others to bare. It is a humbling thing--and a blessing--to realize that our trials are not that bad, and if another can endure through something much greater, than I can endure as well. I was also reminded that trials are given to all--no one is exempt. And, conversely, blessings are given to all; and strength to overcome if we but ask. If such large burdens serve no other purpose than to minimize the effect of our own smaller trials, I think they can be a blessing in and of themselves. In our mind's eye, changing the way we look at something changes the thing itself: only we decide if that's for better or worse.